Low Libido

Low Libido – Causes and Treatment

 

Men with Low Sex Drive

 

Low sex drive. It's one of the hardest things for a man to 'fess up to, due to the general belief that men are always randy and women the ones lukewarm on sex.

 

That's reflected in a dozen jokes about women's low sex drive. Like:

 

Joke 1. You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither – Steve Martin

 

Joke 2. Q: What do you give a woman to decrease her interest in sex?

           A: A wedding cake.

 

So it's no laughing matter for men who experience low sex drive. it's even harder to talk about it.

 

It might be a surprise to learn that that a lot of men experience low libido at some stage in their lives. Sex therapists report low sex drive is the most common reason couples seek help, and research suggests between 25 and 40 percent of men experience low libido.

 

Low Libido Common in Aussie Men

 

Sexologist Elaine George from Sexology Australia says that the most common sexual issue she sees with both couples and singles is low libido - and frequently it is the man who is the one having trouble keeping up.

 

"Blame achieves nothing," says George. "Women need to realise that this is not about them, even though their self esteem and self worth suffers. What's important to know that the problem is almost always fixable."

How Do You Know if a Man has Low Libido?

 

Deciding whether your sex drive is "low" depends entirely on how satisfied you are with your sex life and life generally.

 

The definition of low libido is subjective, according to WebMD Sex Therapist Louanne Cole Weston, PhD.

 

If a man is concerned about his low sex drive, or if his relationship is stressed because his partner is complaining about not getting enough sex, then there could be a problem. It's about compatibility rather than the number of times a week the couple has sex, says Dr Weston.

 

One couple she counselled had sex twice a year, once at Christmas and once on his birthday. They were both happy with the arrangement but worried there was "something wrong with them."

 

Says Dr Weston: "We went through it all and found they didn't really want to change. Their true joy lay in doing what they were doing together in their laboratory. Sex was not a high priority for either of them. They were real cerebral types." After a couple of sessions they realised they were both happy and there was no need for change.

 

What Low Libido Does To Relationships

 

Desire discrepancy – where one partner wants sex more than the other – occurs in most long term relationships as couples cope with the demands of work, family and keeping it all together.

 

Although it may typically be the woman who is the low desire partner and the man the high, it can just as readily be the other way round; the man as the low desire partner.

 

Whichever it is, when desire discrepancy occurs for long periods, the high desire partner can feel rejected and lonely, and detached from the relationship. They react by either becoming hurt and angry, or seeking sexual affection elsewhere. Neither choice is good for a happy relationship and sexual and emotional health.

 

Top 7 Causes of Low Libido in Men

 

1) Side Effects of Drugs

 

Many of the medications prescribed for midlife health problems like depression, high cholesterol, or high blood pressure are recognised to reduce sex drive. WebMD says side effects of such medications are the number one cause of low libido in men. Drugs that cause low libido in men include:

 

• SSRI type antidepressants
• Cholesterol lowering drugs
• anti-hypertensive drugs for high blood pressure
• Prostate drugs like Proscar

 

2) Stress and Fatigue

 

The recession has hit men's jobs hardest and the stress of losing your job, of redundancy in mid-life, and working longer hours to secure your future take a heavy toll on body and mind. Traumatic events like job loss can reduce Testosterone levels dramatically – adding ten years of physical ageing in just a few months.

 

3) Alcohol and Drugs

 

The temptation to "self-medicate" stress by increasing your alcohol or drug intake can have disastrous results. Doctors suggest drug and alcohol consumption may be a bigger cause of low sex drive than the stress itself.

 

4) Low Testosterone / High Estrogen

 

A drop in Testosterone affects sex drive. Hormonal imbalance after 40 can also result in a relative increase in Estrogen, leading to weight gain and further reduction in libido.

 

5)  Diabetes and Other Major Illness

 

Chronic illness – particularly diabetes and heart disease – commonly result in low libido in men.

 

6) Depression

 

Women underestimate the impact financial or job stress have on a man's sense of well-being, suggest bestselling author and Today show and Oprah regular Michele Weiner Davis (The Sex-Starved Wife, What To Do When He's Lost Desire, Simon and Schuster.) Low desire is men's best kept secret, she suggests in a Time magazine interview.

 

Other personal issues could be impacting on his desire to be physical; if he has a childhood history of sex abuse, or if he grew up in a dysfunctional family and has low self-esteem.

 

Or maybe he has a lack of knowledge about being a good lover. We're not born knowing that stuff. So education, therapy, talking about and addressing issues so that he feels better about himself – these are the steps he needs to take in order to feel like he's got something to give in the relationship.

 

7) Relationship Issues

 

One of the myths of male sexuality is that nothing gets in the way of their sex drive; they'll want to have sex in a snow storm. The reality is that many men are as affected by underlying unresolved relationship issues as women are. Many men need to feel emotionally connected to feel sexual. And nothing turns off a man quicker than a critical, nagging wife.

 

Dr Michele Weiner Davis suggests other personal issues could be impacting on a man's desire, including a childhood history of sexual abuse, or if he grew up in a dysfunctional family and has low self-esteem.

 

Low Libido is Different From ED

 

Low libido is not the same as impotence or erectile dysfunction. Impotence or ED is wanting to have sex but not being able to maintain an erection long enough to penetrate and reach orgasm. 

Low libido is having little desire for sex even if you are capable of achieving erections. ED drugs like Viagra do not increase desire so are not prescribed for men with low libido.

 

What You Can Do About Low Libido

 

• Check for any underlying physical causes
• Change medication to see if libido improves
• Be kind to your body – exercise, stop smoking, control stress, lose weight and reduce alcohol
• Check Testosterone levels
• Try a Herbal supplement like Herbal Ignite

 

How Do Natural Remedies for Low Libido Work?

 

Traditional medicine has long recognised some herbs work as libido enhancers or aphrodisiacs, increasing desire and enhancing sexual response.

 

Natural sex enhancers like Tribulus Terrestris, Horny Goat Weed, Maca, Muiara Puama, Damiana and Yohimbe have become increasingly popular as men and women look for answers to the problem of low libido.

 

Herbal supplements need to be taken for one to three months before deciding whether they are going to be of some benefit, as they work more gradually and progressively than pharmaceuticals.

 

Herbs for Treating Low Libido

 

 

Herb Name	Herb Information
Avena Sativa	Wild oats. Helps with stress, has been used to help nicotine withdrawal, improves sex drive.
Tribulus terrestris	Stimulates the body to produce more testosterone rather than introducing a synthetic form.
Damiana	This South America shrub has a testosterone-like effect and has long been associated with increasing male potency.
Gingko Biloba	Used in the East for thousands of years. Research has shown it improves depression, circulation and blood flow to the brain.
Horny Goat Weed	A popular herb for improving sexual function.
Yohimbe	A hormone stimulant that increases libido and blood flow to erectile tissue.  Not available only in some regions because of the side effects which can include anxiety, panic attacks, and hallucinations, elevated blood pressure, heart rate and headaches.
Zinc	An essential mineral for prostate gland function and the reproductive health.  Do not take more than 100mg a day.
Saw palmetto	Excellent herb for prostate health, sexual functioning and desire.
Guarana	South American shrub used as a stimulant.
Ginseng	Used throughout the Far East as a general tonic to give extra energy and strength. Beneficial for people with diabetes.

 

Take Action to Treat Low Libido

 

We hope you have taken away from this article the key message that low libido in men can be treated and it is worth doing something about it.

 

Give yourself a break. Take stock of your situation, talk to your doctor and your partner, and make a short checklist of things you can do to start taking control and getting the joy back in life.